Social Media & Online Identity

Save Your Job Search: Change Your Negative Internal Dialogue

Lack of Confidence Can Hinder Your Job Search

If you are feeling defeated because you have done all you can do, have interviewed, and a new job has not  manifested for you, examine your internal dialogue. Yes, put down the resume, halt the job searching, and join me in this deep-dive exercise of exploring your thoughts…

What are your beliefs about your candidacy? What “vibe” are you transmitting during your phone interview, exuding through your body language, projecting with your attire selection, and reinforcing via your marketing documents?

 

Others Can Sense Your Lack of Self-Assurance

Lack of confidence can be ‘smelled’ a mile away. Negativity, cynicism, and a ‘poor-me’ attitude is not attractive at all–no matter how you try to mask it.

 

Open the Floodgates of Interview Offers

While it may seem too simple and bordering on just “self-help” talk, the beliefs we hold about ourselves are fundamental in our success. The concept of reversing negative internal narrative not just during a job search but also in your everyday life, yes, seems simple. However, actually changing what you are thinking, feeling, and exuding is not—but it can absolutely be done (more on this later). I guarantee that if you have lost the job offer, perhaps even during a second interview, the person who got hired sold their qualifications with more confidence, was more persuasiveness in promoting their value, and closed the deal (job) by assertively reassuring the employer that they were the best choice!

 

Possible Reasons for Your (sometimes) Hard-To-Detect Negative Self-Talk

The following could fuel consistent negative beliefs about your value, your opportunities, and your expectations:

 

1. Shame in losing your job. No need to be ashamed, it happens to everyone at least once. We cannot control what happens in the world and often we cannot control events in our lives. Nevertheless, we CAN control our reaction to what happens to us and we can DECIDE to take action.

 

 2. Internalizing past failures. Success builds character, failure reveals it” ~Dave Checkett. Enough said? Well, just in case: judging yourself for past failures builds a false self-image. Understanding that failure is part of trying and that while owning up to your failures nurtures intellectual and emotional growth–defining yourself by your failures, does not.

 

 3. Desperation. Understandably, if you have been out of work for a very long time, creditors are calling you, and your funds are now very limited, you can easily find yourself in a desperate-feeling place. Yet, I encourage you to adopt a new attitude. Employers need you. So, while you are out there distributing resumes and interviewing–interview them! Mmm hmm, that’s right. You interview them. Turning the tables around (tactfully) will position you in a ‘power’ place and not a ‘victim’ place. (After all, you are bringing this corporation into your life for more than 40 hours a week.)

 

4. Habit. This is probably the #1 reason we all do a little self-berating on a daily basis. Pretty much, we experience disappointment, become frustrated, angry, and sometimes need to justify what has occurred. Make a conscious choice to be kind to yourself, coach yourself, and pay attention to what you could be saying to yourself; because negative beliefs can make their way onto the visible aspects of your job search.

 

Begin Today to Change the Direction of Your Thoughts and Job Search

No matter what strategic job search plan or marketing pitch you have in place, if you cannot convince your prospective employer to hire you, your self-marketing tools are pointless. Know this: You cannot sell what you do not believe in and you cannot energize others to believe in you when YOU lack that type of enthusiasm in your own services. (Moreover, it feels good to recognize how good you really are.)

So, begin to take notice, write down all the reasons why you believe your job search is not fruitful, what your weaknesses are, why you think you are NOT the best candidate and then eradicate that thinking. Replace it with positive self-talk and substantiate it with achievements. Ironically, exploring your negative dialogue and reversing it can lead you to your UVP (unique value proposition).

 

 

As always, if I can be of any assistance rvargas@creatingprints.com

Rosa Elizabeth Vargas
www.creatingprints.com
Master Resume Writer
Quadruple-Certified Resume Writer

4 Replies to “Save Your Job Search: Change Your Negative Internal Dialogue

  1. Rosa –
    EXCELLENT post. Frequently, the biggest battles we wage in job search and in life is one with ourselves. When I start the self-doubt and self-deprecating thoughts, I consciously stop and think, “Would you talk to anyone else like that? Would you allow anyone else to talk to you like that?” If I’m honest, the answer is a resounding NO. I change my thoughts and get back on a happier path.
    At the risk of sounding terribly cliche, if we’re not our own best friends first, how can we be anything to anyone else. As you said, it does feel good to realize how wonderful we really.
    Well done. YOU are wonderful. :)

  2. Awww. Thanks Dawn. Your comment brought a huge smile to my face and at the risk of making everyone else “sick” with our flattering (yet sincere) exchanges (wink)– I will say that you are wonderful too, for sure!
    Thanks!

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